Do I go to university? 

Do I go to Tafe? 

Do I do nothing? 

Do I travel? 

Do I want to obtain wealth?

Will I make my family proud?

Will I be socially acceptable?

What do I want? 

This question goes through my mind quite often. Ultimately, I keep ending up with the same equation. 

The strange thing is, I know precisely how to obtain the above :). I know exactly what I need to do to get there. I know the courses I want and need to do and I know exactly who to contact. I've had this plan in my mind for several months, but I'm still yet to act. I cannot fathom why. I have a theory. I have a perception that I do not deserve the things that I want or have. I feel as if someone else would appreciate what I want to do more. I feel as though if I do it, someone else is going to miss out because of that. I know it's stupid. I know that I deserve what I want. I know I can change a lot of people's lives and I can essentially change the world. But I am impatient. To get where I want to be will take five years. Five years. Ultimately five years is a minuscule amount of time. I know that. But the time I spend studying, I can be travelling. But if I do the five years (which is one university course and one Tafe course) I would literally be living my dream and I would ultimately be qualified to do so. 

It just frustrates me that people put time on everything. Time doesn't exist. Clocks exist. This post is muddled but it just keeps coming out. 

I want to travel the world and work with children and get them to experience different countries and I want to educate them about the impact that they have on the environment an how the can change. I love children. I think they're amazing creatures and they are so fun to be around. 

I know what I haw to do and I know how I can eat to my destination. I just do not know how to act.